The Monster Within

I watched her brush her dark curls aside from her mesmerizing dark eyes at the same time I did. Her locks were silky and looked like they belonged on a model whereas mine were frizzy and unruly. She wore the same thing I did, but it somehow looked better on her. She was skinnier. Her skin was clearer. In every aspect, she was prettier. Her brown skin didn’t make her seem different. It made her beautiful. She exuded confidence as we walked towards each other. It only made my meekness more noticeable. Neither one of us dared to speak, but both of us did open our mouths as if to speak.

When I brought my hand up to touch her, I was met with the cold glass of the mirror. It was the only shield between the two of us. My better half watched, taking in my every move. I wanted to pull her out. Give her a chance at freedom. A beautiful creature should not be kept in a cage.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“You know my name,” she responded with a sly grin playing on her petite lips.

Of course, I did. We did share it after all. She was the half of me that I would never get to meet. She was the person I wanted to be, but I never could because we were forever parted. I wished that everyone could see her for her worth. She was the better one. She was the one who could enchant a room with a single smile. People would flock just to be her friend. They actually wanted to know what she thought, and they cared for her opinion. She read Keats and Fitzgerald for her own amusement. She listened to music no one else had heard of yet. She followed politics and understood it. She could play the piano and guitar and had been gifted with a voice that never faltered from the  key. She managed hold the entire room’s attention forever.

Wait.

This person wasn’t me. She wasn’t even a fragment of me. I looked at her again.  Now that my head was less clouded, this time I saw her true appearance. Her grin was no longer inviting. Her white teeth had elongated into flesh tearing incisors. Her once honey brown eyes were now cold and hungry. Her hair, which I had admired no so long ago, was bedraggled. She would have her way with my sanity. She wasn’t beautiful. She was a horrid creature that I had unleashed from the depths of my mind. She was my own creation, which had fed on my most harmful thoughts. She was not who I wanted to be. She was not a part of me. She was my destruction.

Poison. Toxic to my mind. If I let her out, she would eat me alive. She would never give me the peace and happiness that I deserved. She would never let me be satisfied with myself. She would never let me be me. She could never escape her prison. A new prison that I would have build for her. If she did leave, she would come straight for me. The both of us could not exist, and I feared that she would be the one to win this war.

Unless, I killed her first. There was only one way I could kill a beast such as this one. I thought to myself: You are beautiful. You are talented. You are strong. You are intelligent. You are loved.

She had weakened slightly, but she was still beating against her cell. She clawed against the glass. Cracking it slowly. I tried again.

You are special to the people who care about you, and there is always someone who cares about you.

I could see that the fight was leaving her. She slid to the floor, so I could only see the top of her once luxurious dark head.  

They don’t like you because you are perfect. They like you because you are you, and no one else can be you.

She was gone. There was only a pile of dust where she was once stood. I stood tall, triumphant in my victory. There was only me now, but it was a me I recognized. It one that I was still learning to like, but I was fine with that. She was someone worth loving.

 

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